Life is not fair…but I choose to be a survivor.

I have fallen off the radar of social media lately. I have been extremely busy. Lots of life changes all at once can seem like a nightmare ….my life feels like it’s spiraling out of control and I’m just beginning to get my equilibrium back.

I am a very private person and don’t usually share private details of my life…especially not things so emotionally difficult for me. I feel like sharing my troubles today 😳.

Those who know me well know I was recently evicted from my home in Colorado City. Due to illegal maneuvers by the state of Utah and a corrupt judge, the church trust that owned the property where I built my home was seized and given to a fiduciary who is prejudiced against anyone from the FLDS faith. It’s truly “the fox watching the hen house” and the fiduciary is plucking out the hens ( people like me ) as fast as he can, for his own financial gain.  So since I won’t sign their occupancy agreement and pay their ransom (fees that give us no rights to the property and can be changed at any time if the fiduciary sees fit) I have lost my home. The fiduciary, Bruce Wisan, gave my home to someone I don’t even know, to someone that has no claims or ties to the property as I was the first occupant there. I personally did a large part of building that home from the drywall up. (Thanks to my background in construction I was able to do drywall, painting, ceramic tile, finish electrical, finish plumbing, trim, wood flooring, refinished all of the cabinets, and turned a barren yard into an oasis.) That home was a labor of love and we worked hard and scrimped and saved to make it happen! I feel screwed!

As a single mother with 5 children at home it has been a nightmare! We suddenly had to vacate our home and our community because no homes are available to us. I have no credit and no renters history so finding a home to rent has been daunting. I have been turned down by a lot of renters because I have “too many children” . And to add to that we have a dog that I’m not willing to give up because my children are so attached to him. They have had to give up too much already! My children have been heartbroken to have to leave their friends and cousins. It’s been a very difficult time for them.

It’s also been a “double whammy” as far as my livelihood… Loosing my home meant loosing the studio in my home. I now have the added financial burden of setting up a studio and office in St.George. I’m mostly stressed that by working completely away from home I am missing priceless time with my children. Work/home balance is already difficult for a single mother.

It’s very difficult, if not impossible to forgive the parties that put me in this situation!  I felt like showing up on Judge Denise Lindburg’s doorstep with my 5 minor children and asking her what I’m supposed to do! Does she have a spare bedroom for us? How is this right? How can a person who has sworn to destroy the FLDS be put in charge of watching out for our best interest.  What the heck happened to separation of church and state. Who is looking out for people like me? I feel abused by the system! Who cares?

Anyway….I’m done with my rant! I CHOOSE to not be a victim. I CHOOSE to grow from the difficulties in life. I CHOOSE to be a good example and a strong, loving mother to my children. I choose to SURVIVE! And hopefully someday I will be in the situation financially and socially where I can help others going through what I’m dealing with. I CHOOSE TO CARE!